travis osbourne talked, and i figured something out... are you ready for this? you better be sitting. and make suere your laptop is not on your lap but safely on a table and out of flail range. i realized, i am Perfectly fine with being single... holy crap. SO AWESOME. oaky, thats all. if you want something more spiritual or lomnger, then read my last blog again. this is all you get today.
oh, and i broke my amp, so if you want to give me 100 bucks to fix it you can.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
My Psalm
God, help.
I feel extremely unintelligent right now.
Extremely idiotic.
Those around me look and see that life is going well.
They say “Andrew has it together." and "I love Andrew”
I know they say it. They say it to me a lot. So why don’t I feel it?
A feeling of loneliness seems as though it will drown my hope.
Why do I feel as though none of them love me?
I think I am the one who drifts randomly between groups of friends and never grows close to any of them. and seems to never grow up at all.
But you love me.
You affection towards me IS like an sloppy wet kiss.
Not two teenagers making out in the halls when they sold be in class, but like a couple, Married for twenty years, who still has that spark, and who still continues to see the twinkle in each others eyes. They embrace and hold each other they do not notice the others around watching them. They know people are there, watching, but they ignore it, because the love is so Great it covers over all feelings of embarrassment.
I lie here in your arms.
They lift me.
They hold me to your face so you can whisper in my ear.
Your ever-strong, immensely gentle voice tells me “You Are Loved.”
Then “I love you. That is why I created you. To be loved by me. And to love me. And to show others how to love me. And to show the world what it looks like to cry and laugh with Joy in MY presence. To ramble on in your blog while you smile and stare at your ceiling like an idiot,because you want to look up at me.”
And again “you are loved”
and now i post things that seem rather personal because you called me to be an example.
I sit here inside on a cloudy day and bask in the sunshine of your love.
Father, remind me of your love. remind me that i am Yours. that you created me and that your fingerprints are all over me.
Jesus, let me continue to remember that you laid down your life for me to show me your love.
Holy spirit, be here to guide me and to keep me company as i journey towards you. let me ever be reminded that you are here to help me in every way possible, be it miraculous or mundane. continue to whisper in my ear that You love me and that i need to look to you to feel wholly loved, and not to others. remind me not to blame it on them, and not to despair, but to turn back to you. compared to your love, their love is simply an added benefit.
God, i am yours. use me.
And I feel comforted. And I feel ready to go out and conquer the world for you. But first I need to do some homework.
I feel extremely unintelligent right now.
Extremely idiotic.
Those around me look and see that life is going well.
They say “Andrew has it together." and "I love Andrew”
I know they say it. They say it to me a lot. So why don’t I feel it?
A feeling of loneliness seems as though it will drown my hope.
Why do I feel as though none of them love me?
I think I am the one who drifts randomly between groups of friends and never grows close to any of them. and seems to never grow up at all.
But you love me.
You affection towards me IS like an sloppy wet kiss.
Not two teenagers making out in the halls when they sold be in class, but like a couple, Married for twenty years, who still has that spark, and who still continues to see the twinkle in each others eyes. They embrace and hold each other they do not notice the others around watching them. They know people are there, watching, but they ignore it, because the love is so Great it covers over all feelings of embarrassment.
I lie here in your arms.
They lift me.
They hold me to your face so you can whisper in my ear.
Your ever-strong, immensely gentle voice tells me “You Are Loved.”
Then “I love you. That is why I created you. To be loved by me. And to love me. And to show others how to love me. And to show the world what it looks like to cry and laugh with Joy in MY presence. To ramble on in your blog while you smile and stare at your ceiling like an idiot,because you want to look up at me.”
And again “you are loved”
and now i post things that seem rather personal because you called me to be an example.
I sit here inside on a cloudy day and bask in the sunshine of your love.
Father, remind me of your love. remind me that i am Yours. that you created me and that your fingerprints are all over me.
Jesus, let me continue to remember that you laid down your life for me to show me your love.
Holy spirit, be here to guide me and to keep me company as i journey towards you. let me ever be reminded that you are here to help me in every way possible, be it miraculous or mundane. continue to whisper in my ear that You love me and that i need to look to you to feel wholly loved, and not to others. remind me not to blame it on them, and not to despair, but to turn back to you. compared to your love, their love is simply an added benefit.
God, i am yours. use me.
And I feel comforted. And I feel ready to go out and conquer the world for you. But first I need to do some homework.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Chuppah. again
on sunday two things happened. one, i blew a tube in my amp, so i had to borrow one. lame. but i fixed it today, so all ends well.
two, nate spoke about sex. he likes doing that. he finds a reason to every year. and every tie he does i sit and listen and pay close attention to everything he says. see, i won't need to use any of the stuff he says for a few years, so i just file it all away in the back of my mind. this time i reflected a lot. i listened as nate spoke about how the song of songs the lover (solomon) talks to his beloved( his wife) and builds her up. they are in the bridal chambers ready to consummate their marriage and he is affirming every part of her before he touches her. he stands there with his wife and tells her she is beautiful. at the begining of the book we see she does not like her body, and he spends the better part of a chapter telling her how beautiful she is. now, granted, they are about to get it on, but thats not the reason he is saying this, just to get her in bed. he is telling the love of his life "you are perfect in every way imaginable. you are even perfect in the ways i never imagined." its so beautiful. i feel really sappy for saying this. or rather that others will think me really sappy for having said this, but i want to be that guy. not only in the bridal chambers, about to make love to his wife, but i want the chance to tell my beloved, who ever she ends up being, that she is beautiful. i know God has me single and waiting now so i can try to describe his beauty to him (however impossible that may be) and i know taht when he gives me a wife, i will have had so much practice trying to describe him, i will be able to look at her and tell her how beautiful she is. i just hope i don't use the same words solomon used, cause no woman i have met wants her hair described as a flock of goats descending mt. gilead. thats just weird.
two, nate spoke about sex. he likes doing that. he finds a reason to every year. and every tie he does i sit and listen and pay close attention to everything he says. see, i won't need to use any of the stuff he says for a few years, so i just file it all away in the back of my mind. this time i reflected a lot. i listened as nate spoke about how the song of songs the lover (solomon) talks to his beloved( his wife) and builds her up. they are in the bridal chambers ready to consummate their marriage and he is affirming every part of her before he touches her. he stands there with his wife and tells her she is beautiful. at the begining of the book we see she does not like her body, and he spends the better part of a chapter telling her how beautiful she is. now, granted, they are about to get it on, but thats not the reason he is saying this, just to get her in bed. he is telling the love of his life "you are perfect in every way imaginable. you are even perfect in the ways i never imagined." its so beautiful. i feel really sappy for saying this. or rather that others will think me really sappy for having said this, but i want to be that guy. not only in the bridal chambers, about to make love to his wife, but i want the chance to tell my beloved, who ever she ends up being, that she is beautiful. i know God has me single and waiting now so i can try to describe his beauty to him (however impossible that may be) and i know taht when he gives me a wife, i will have had so much practice trying to describe him, i will be able to look at her and tell her how beautiful she is. i just hope i don't use the same words solomon used, cause no woman i have met wants her hair described as a flock of goats descending mt. gilead. thats just weird.
Friday, October 2, 2009
a sense of beloning, that makes me feel out of place.
i just re-read alot of my blogs. one in particular caught my attention. well, its the last on i re-read, so it was hard to miss...
i wrote a blog a while back on my attitude towards compliments in worship. int hat blog i said i do not appreciate compliments on my skills with a guitar, but appreciate compliments on my freedom to worship God. i still believe that. i pray i never stop believing that. the weird part was when i started thinking about the compliments i have gotten this year at school. a rather considerable number of people have come up to me adn told me they like listening to me playing guitar. on the one hand, i am on chapel band and at the stirring, so they hear me play a lot, but i think if you take the number of compliments and spread them out over the hours of playing this past month over any other month, i have gotten more comments this month by far. and i realized, i appreciated at least half of them more than i usually do. to some, i still feel awkward when i hear them tell me i was good, but to others, i earnestly tell them thank you, and that i appreciate their comments. and i realized, it was the people i am close to, and the ones i want to be close to whose compliments i take to heart. oyu see, i know their hearts. one of my biggest fears is that people will hear us playing music and go to their dorm rooms and write a blog about the awesome solo, or the cool bassline. i want people to meet God. when people who i don't know well tell me i sounded good, i am afraid that they missed the whole point. i have come to the conclusion that i only like it when most people tell me they liked worshiping with us (whatever band i play with) and for a select few, i absolutely love it when they tell me i sounded good. that is because with those select few i know their hearst are right, and that if i sucked,they would tell me "thank you for worshiping, and i loved it. and your guitar was out of tune, and you started taht song in the wrong time signature..."
so if really love you, then come tell me i sound good. if not, shut up :) (in case you can't tell, that sentence was utterly LOADED with sarcasm.)
i wrote a blog a while back on my attitude towards compliments in worship. int hat blog i said i do not appreciate compliments on my skills with a guitar, but appreciate compliments on my freedom to worship God. i still believe that. i pray i never stop believing that. the weird part was when i started thinking about the compliments i have gotten this year at school. a rather considerable number of people have come up to me adn told me they like listening to me playing guitar. on the one hand, i am on chapel band and at the stirring, so they hear me play a lot, but i think if you take the number of compliments and spread them out over the hours of playing this past month over any other month, i have gotten more comments this month by far. and i realized, i appreciated at least half of them more than i usually do. to some, i still feel awkward when i hear them tell me i was good, but to others, i earnestly tell them thank you, and that i appreciate their comments. and i realized, it was the people i am close to, and the ones i want to be close to whose compliments i take to heart. oyu see, i know their hearts. one of my biggest fears is that people will hear us playing music and go to their dorm rooms and write a blog about the awesome solo, or the cool bassline. i want people to meet God. when people who i don't know well tell me i sounded good, i am afraid that they missed the whole point. i have come to the conclusion that i only like it when most people tell me they liked worshiping with us (whatever band i play with) and for a select few, i absolutely love it when they tell me i sounded good. that is because with those select few i know their hearst are right, and that if i sucked,they would tell me "thank you for worshiping, and i loved it. and your guitar was out of tune, and you started taht song in the wrong time signature..."
so if really love you, then come tell me i sound good. if not, shut up :) (in case you can't tell, that sentence was utterly LOADED with sarcasm.)
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
i am a lover and a fighter (longest blog yet?)
i am a lover and a fighter. i love people. its what i do. we'll get to the fighter in me later. you see, at the stirring we are in our "Under the Chuppah" series. (pronounced 'hoop-ah') the Chuppah was, and is, the ceremonial cannopy that jewish couples stood under at their weddings. after the wedding the couple would make love under the Chuppah to consumate the marriage. then the bridal party would take the Chuppah and hold it over the bride and groom for seven days of parties and feasts. Nate has always talked about putting love and marriage and sex and dating back under the Chuppah. you see, when the groom stood under the Chuppah and waited for his wife, God was there with him, waiting. when the bride walked down to meet her groom God was walking her. so when they met, they met in God, under the Chuppah, and God brought them together. but we insist that we go find our own lovers. to wait with God under the chuppah means to be with God, waiting for him to walk your wife to you. for the woman, to walk with God to your husband requires that you walk with God. if your loved one decides to not be and walk with God then you have the choice of whether they stay with God and miss out on them, or to stay with them, and miss out on God. i choose to stay with God.
but also, the Chuppah was a place where the couple was surrounded by friends who followed them everywhere to bless their marriage. i like that imagery. when you are under the Chuppah, oyu are surrounded by your frineds as they take delight in assisting you in keeping yourself alligned with God. and when your walk with God takes you to a woman, they walk with you. and when your walk with God takes you and that woman to a a feast or party, they walk with you. the imagery is amazing. when ate talked about this, i had this image in my mind.
on one side you have two people, holding hands under a Chupppah. you have a priest behind them, and you have their frineds holding the chuppah. on the other side you have a person unde the chuppah, witha priest and friends and everything, but the person is holding on to something. they are struggling to keep this thing up in the air. when you look closer you see that the stage they are on is the same size as the Chuppah, and just outside the chuppah is this person's spouse. they are not under the chuppah, or on the stage, but are out doing their own thing. the spouse under the Chuppah is trying to pull them into it, and thus is having to lean out from under it.
under both of these Chuppahs, i then saw a brightness. it was the Glory of God. right in the middle of the first Chuppah. between the people. the top of it seemed to be between their faces, but it also seemed to be flowing down upon them. it shone so bright it bounced off the Chuppah and hit their faces again. the bottom of it was a blurry line somewhere between their hearts and their hands, which were holding one anothers. the priest was behind them, and he was performing the ceremony. around them was group of friends,and around them was a crowd of angels. all of the angels somehow had their faces in to see the beauty of the wedding, but also had their faces out, ready to protect that beauty.
under the other Chuppah there was the wife on the left side of the chuppah (from the audience's point of view) and she was pulling her husband-to-be up the side of this stage. she was holding onto one of the posts, and she was struggling to stay in the Chuppah herself. her friends were there, but they were not holding the cannopy up, they were holding it in place. she was pulling so hard against it to keep him from falling she was about to upset it. and in the middle of the Chuppah was a priest, who was praying for her. and there was the Glory of God again, but it was glowing not on her face, but near her back, because she was turned. it was glowing of the chuppah and lighting the path a different way for her. it showed the empty portion of the Chuppah. where the husband usually stands. and on that side you could see men standing. it was the friends of another man, who were off somewhere else holding his Chuppah up. he was close, and all she had to do was turn. but she would not. the angels in this case were not standing guard of the couple, but were split. some were there to pul her back. they were pulling her into the Chuppah just like her friends were, but it seemed from their faces as though they were pulling her away from the edge, and away form her would have been husband. the other half of the angels were standing under him, reay to catch him when he let go. and there, under him, were his friends waiting for him to fall. i can't tell if they were friends waiting to help him recover and grow in God, or just simply waiting for him to fail. and when he finally falls, she will be able to look down and see him rebuild his life. eventually, he will rebuild it so she does not have to look down, but simply over. but she cannot be the one who goes down to help him recover, because then she will be getting of her stage again. and out form under her Chuppah. out of he Bright shining glory of God.
then i looked back and saw the first couple. and i realy wanted to be that guy.
why is it that all of my deep moments lately have lead to me knowing there is a daughter of Christ out there who needs to be told that she is beautiful and that Christ loves her? and why is it that all of those moments lately lead me to wanting to find her and be the one who tells her that every day for the rest of her life?
yep., i want to love someone. and i am having trouble with that right now. i'm stuck in a fight between wanting to love someone, and knowing i need to rest in the fact that God wants me single right now. and chances are that once i'm finally ready to be single, he'll throw someone at me. so i fight this internal struggle. and thus i'm a lover and a fighter.
but also, the Chuppah was a place where the couple was surrounded by friends who followed them everywhere to bless their marriage. i like that imagery. when you are under the Chuppah, oyu are surrounded by your frineds as they take delight in assisting you in keeping yourself alligned with God. and when your walk with God takes you to a woman, they walk with you. and when your walk with God takes you and that woman to a a feast or party, they walk with you. the imagery is amazing. when ate talked about this, i had this image in my mind.
on one side you have two people, holding hands under a Chupppah. you have a priest behind them, and you have their frineds holding the chuppah. on the other side you have a person unde the chuppah, witha priest and friends and everything, but the person is holding on to something. they are struggling to keep this thing up in the air. when you look closer you see that the stage they are on is the same size as the Chuppah, and just outside the chuppah is this person's spouse. they are not under the chuppah, or on the stage, but are out doing their own thing. the spouse under the Chuppah is trying to pull them into it, and thus is having to lean out from under it.
under both of these Chuppahs, i then saw a brightness. it was the Glory of God. right in the middle of the first Chuppah. between the people. the top of it seemed to be between their faces, but it also seemed to be flowing down upon them. it shone so bright it bounced off the Chuppah and hit their faces again. the bottom of it was a blurry line somewhere between their hearts and their hands, which were holding one anothers. the priest was behind them, and he was performing the ceremony. around them was group of friends,and around them was a crowd of angels. all of the angels somehow had their faces in to see the beauty of the wedding, but also had their faces out, ready to protect that beauty.
under the other Chuppah there was the wife on the left side of the chuppah (from the audience's point of view) and she was pulling her husband-to-be up the side of this stage. she was holding onto one of the posts, and she was struggling to stay in the Chuppah herself. her friends were there, but they were not holding the cannopy up, they were holding it in place. she was pulling so hard against it to keep him from falling she was about to upset it. and in the middle of the Chuppah was a priest, who was praying for her. and there was the Glory of God again, but it was glowing not on her face, but near her back, because she was turned. it was glowing of the chuppah and lighting the path a different way for her. it showed the empty portion of the Chuppah. where the husband usually stands. and on that side you could see men standing. it was the friends of another man, who were off somewhere else holding his Chuppah up. he was close, and all she had to do was turn. but she would not. the angels in this case were not standing guard of the couple, but were split. some were there to pul her back. they were pulling her into the Chuppah just like her friends were, but it seemed from their faces as though they were pulling her away from the edge, and away form her would have been husband. the other half of the angels were standing under him, reay to catch him when he let go. and there, under him, were his friends waiting for him to fall. i can't tell if they were friends waiting to help him recover and grow in God, or just simply waiting for him to fail. and when he finally falls, she will be able to look down and see him rebuild his life. eventually, he will rebuild it so she does not have to look down, but simply over. but she cannot be the one who goes down to help him recover, because then she will be getting of her stage again. and out form under her Chuppah. out of he Bright shining glory of God.
then i looked back and saw the first couple. and i realy wanted to be that guy.
why is it that all of my deep moments lately have lead to me knowing there is a daughter of Christ out there who needs to be told that she is beautiful and that Christ loves her? and why is it that all of those moments lately lead me to wanting to find her and be the one who tells her that every day for the rest of her life?
yep., i want to love someone. and i am having trouble with that right now. i'm stuck in a fight between wanting to love someone, and knowing i need to rest in the fact that God wants me single right now. and chances are that once i'm finally ready to be single, he'll throw someone at me. so i fight this internal struggle. and thus i'm a lover and a fighter.
Monday, August 17, 2009
two years ago i wrote a blog about the number four. its really good. i might import it from my myspace. this is one like that. its about the number 61. (oh, and i started writing this on the 17th, but its close to midnight and i probably won't finish in time.) i chose 61 because of a few reasons. one, its the number of days in any two consecutive months (unless those months are july and august, or january and february, or february and march)and its the number of days til my birthday.
61 months ago i was a counselor at junior high camp. i prayed with a kid who had just accepted christ. his face, his smile, is the most joy filled face i have ever seen.
61 weeks ago i was working kitchen at camp, and i heard God talk to me above the dish washer.
61 days ago i was driving home from a long day of climbing after work at camp.
61 hours ago i was eating dinner with my family on a friday.
61 minutes ago i was on facebook.
61 seconds ago i was in the bathroom. 61 seconds from now i'll be in the next paragraph.
See? i told you i would be.
61 minutes from now, i'll be deciding if this blog is anywhere near worthy to be online.
61 hours from now, i'll asleep. i willhave gotten back from youth group, where we are playing the same two songs that we sang last time we played. take it all(by hillsong), and everything(by lifehouse) just two weeks later. see, our youthgroup doesn't know how to worship God during music. see, they haven't had a steady band in 61 months. so most of them weren't in youth group yet. actually, none of them were in youth group yet. half of them don't come on sundays, and the other half all are very helpful with our childrens ministry. that means they don't sing anything on wednesdays, and they hardly sing anything on sundays. the only exposure these kids have to music that glorifies God is once a summer at camp. so we are trying to introduce them to it.
61 days from now, i'll be 21. twenty one. that means i can drink. in a sense its a bigger birthday than 20. you can't really do anything cool at 20 that you couldn't at 19, except ride in a car with someone who got their liscence int eh past 6 months, which isn't that cool. and since i'll be at simpson, i won't drink for another two months afer that. two months. 61 days.
61 weeks from now i'll be 22, and in my senior year of college. well, its supposed to be my senior year. we'll see if i keep on track like that. i kinda doubt it. but i'll be a senior. when my mom was that age, she was married. weird.
61 years from now i'll be 81 years old. i probably won't rock climb anymore. i hope i'll at least still be able to play guitar. i'll be married. i'll have kids. my kids will have kids. my kids's kids, might be getting married, and having kids.
thats right. 61 years from now, i could be a great grandpa. WHAT! yeah,. thats crazy. seriously, take a second and think about that. 60 years from now, when you are old and grey, (or bald...) what will your grand kids look like? they will be as old as i am now. or older. 60 years from now, if you are still alive, you could be holding your great grandkids. or, you could have them sitting on your lap. or they will be to old to sit on your lap. if every generation in my family has kids at 25, when i'm 81, my grand kids will be 6. and i''l be 81, so my lap might be too fragile for them! crazy. this blog was supposed to be artsy with the numeric symmetry, not scary and putting life in perspective.
61 decades from now, no one will know my name. i will be the old name in the family bible that no one knows about. i will just be another name. and next to my name it will say "1988-" and after that will be another number. thats it. all this has happened, and will happen, and then i'm Gone. but then I'm in heaven.
and i won't be a counselor at a camp, and i won't be hearing God over the noise of a dishwasher. cause he will be right next to me. i will just look at his face and talk to him. i won't be eating, but i'll be with my family. i won't have to lead worship at youth group, cause jesus will be right there. and i won't be deciding anything about blogs, and i won't be talking about my age, or watching where the wild things are. and i won't be holding my great grand kids on my ever-so-fragile lap, and i won't be in the bathroom. i'll be kneeling at jesus' feet.
and i'll be smiling.
61 months ago i was a counselor at junior high camp. i prayed with a kid who had just accepted christ. his face, his smile, is the most joy filled face i have ever seen.
61 weeks ago i was working kitchen at camp, and i heard God talk to me above the dish washer.
61 days ago i was driving home from a long day of climbing after work at camp.
61 hours ago i was eating dinner with my family on a friday.
61 minutes ago i was on facebook.
61 seconds ago i was in the bathroom. 61 seconds from now i'll be in the next paragraph.
See? i told you i would be.
61 minutes from now, i'll be deciding if this blog is anywhere near worthy to be online.
61 hours from now, i'll asleep. i willhave gotten back from youth group, where we are playing the same two songs that we sang last time we played. take it all(by hillsong), and everything(by lifehouse) just two weeks later. see, our youthgroup doesn't know how to worship God during music. see, they haven't had a steady band in 61 months. so most of them weren't in youth group yet. actually, none of them were in youth group yet. half of them don't come on sundays, and the other half all are very helpful with our childrens ministry. that means they don't sing anything on wednesdays, and they hardly sing anything on sundays. the only exposure these kids have to music that glorifies God is once a summer at camp. so we are trying to introduce them to it.
61 days from now, i'll be 21. twenty one. that means i can drink. in a sense its a bigger birthday than 20. you can't really do anything cool at 20 that you couldn't at 19, except ride in a car with someone who got their liscence int eh past 6 months, which isn't that cool. and since i'll be at simpson, i won't drink for another two months afer that. two months. 61 days.
61 weeks from now i'll be 22, and in my senior year of college. well, its supposed to be my senior year. we'll see if i keep on track like that. i kinda doubt it. but i'll be a senior. when my mom was that age, she was married. weird.
61 years from now i'll be 81 years old. i probably won't rock climb anymore. i hope i'll at least still be able to play guitar. i'll be married. i'll have kids. my kids will have kids. my kids's kids, might be getting married, and having kids.
thats right. 61 years from now, i could be a great grandpa. WHAT! yeah,. thats crazy. seriously, take a second and think about that. 60 years from now, when you are old and grey, (or bald...) what will your grand kids look like? they will be as old as i am now. or older. 60 years from now, if you are still alive, you could be holding your great grandkids. or, you could have them sitting on your lap. or they will be to old to sit on your lap. if every generation in my family has kids at 25, when i'm 81, my grand kids will be 6. and i''l be 81, so my lap might be too fragile for them! crazy. this blog was supposed to be artsy with the numeric symmetry, not scary and putting life in perspective.
61 decades from now, no one will know my name. i will be the old name in the family bible that no one knows about. i will just be another name. and next to my name it will say "1988-" and after that will be another number. thats it. all this has happened, and will happen, and then i'm Gone. but then I'm in heaven.
and i won't be a counselor at a camp, and i won't be hearing God over the noise of a dishwasher. cause he will be right next to me. i will just look at his face and talk to him. i won't be eating, but i'll be with my family. i won't have to lead worship at youth group, cause jesus will be right there. and i won't be deciding anything about blogs, and i won't be talking about my age, or watching where the wild things are. and i won't be holding my great grand kids on my ever-so-fragile lap, and i won't be in the bathroom. i'll be kneeling at jesus' feet.
and i'll be smiling.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
hold me jesus
rich mullins wrote a song called hold me jesus.
watch the youtube video, then i'll finish talking.
anyways, yeah. for some reason when i hear this song it reminds me of how big God is. the sad part about this song is that rich mullins died about ten years ago. i had no idea who he was then, except as the guy who wrote "Awesome God" side note: he also wrote the song creed. for those of you who know garrett viggers, check out his website (garrettviggers.com) and watch a video of third day recording creed with brandon heath and garrett on the dulcimer
okay. anyways, the bridge of this song is the best part.
Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees
that part made me begin to tear up. considering the fact that i am really thirsty, i probably would have cried just now listening to it. this blog is not eloquently worded, it is not my best writing, and definitely not my most humorous, but this song speaks so much to me, i had to write it.
watch the youtube video, then i'll finish talking.
anyways, yeah. for some reason when i hear this song it reminds me of how big God is. the sad part about this song is that rich mullins died about ten years ago. i had no idea who he was then, except as the guy who wrote "Awesome God" side note: he also wrote the song creed. for those of you who know garrett viggers, check out his website (garrettviggers.com) and watch a video of third day recording creed with brandon heath and garrett on the dulcimer
okay. anyways, the bridge of this song is the best part.
Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees
that part made me begin to tear up. considering the fact that i am really thirsty, i probably would have cried just now listening to it. this blog is not eloquently worded, it is not my best writing, and definitely not my most humorous, but this song speaks so much to me, i had to write it.
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