i am a lover and a fighter (longest blog yet?)

i am a lover and a fighter. i love people. its what i do. we'll get to the fighter in me later. you see, at the stirring we are in our "Under the Chuppah" series. (pronounced 'hoop-ah') the Chuppah was, and is, the ceremonial cannopy that jewish couples stood under at their weddings. after the wedding the couple would make love under the Chuppah to consumate the marriage. then the bridal party would take the Chuppah and hold it over the bride and groom for seven days of parties and feasts. Nate has always talked about putting love and marriage and sex and dating back under the Chuppah. you see, when the groom stood under the Chuppah and waited for his wife, God was there with him, waiting. when the bride walked down to meet her groom God was walking her. so when they met, they met in God, under the Chuppah, and God brought them together. but we insist that we go find our own lovers. to wait with God under the chuppah means to be with God, waiting for him to walk your wife to you. for the woman, to walk with God to your husband requires that you walk with God. if your loved one decides to not be and walk with God then you have the choice of whether they stay with God and miss out on them, or to stay with them, and miss out on God. i choose to stay with God.
but also, the Chuppah was a place where the couple was surrounded by friends who followed them everywhere to bless their marriage. i like that imagery. when you are under the Chuppah, oyu are surrounded by your frineds as they take delight in assisting you in keeping yourself alligned with God. and when your walk with God takes you to a woman, they walk with you. and when your walk with God takes you and that woman to a a feast or party, they walk with you. the imagery is amazing. when ate talked about this, i had this image in my mind.
on one side you have two people, holding hands under a Chupppah. you have a priest behind them, and you have their frineds holding the chuppah. on the other side you have a person unde the chuppah, witha priest and friends and everything, but the person is holding on to something. they are struggling to keep this thing up in the air. when you look closer you see that the stage they are on is the same size as the Chuppah, and just outside the chuppah is this person's spouse. they are not under the chuppah, or on the stage, but are out doing their own thing. the spouse under the Chuppah is trying to pull them into it, and thus is having to lean out from under it.

under both of these Chuppahs, i then saw a brightness. it was the Glory of God. right in the middle of the first Chuppah. between the people. the top of it seemed to be between their faces, but it also seemed to be flowing down upon them. it shone so bright it bounced off the Chuppah and hit their faces again. the bottom of it was a blurry line somewhere between their hearts and their hands, which were holding one anothers. the priest was behind them, and he was performing the ceremony. around them was group of friends,and around them was a crowd of angels. all of the angels somehow had their faces in to see the beauty of the wedding, but also had their faces out, ready to protect that beauty.
under the other Chuppah there was the wife on the left side of the chuppah (from the audience's point of view) and she was pulling her husband-to-be up the side of this stage. she was holding onto one of the posts, and she was struggling to stay in the Chuppah herself. her friends were there, but they were not holding the cannopy up, they were holding it in place. she was pulling so hard against it to keep him from falling she was about to upset it. and in the middle of the Chuppah was a priest, who was praying for her. and there was the Glory of God again, but it was glowing not on her face, but near her back, because she was turned. it was glowing of the chuppah and lighting the path a different way for her. it showed the empty portion of the Chuppah. where the husband usually stands. and on that side you could see men standing. it was the friends of another man, who were off somewhere else holding his Chuppah up. he was close, and all she had to do was turn. but she would not. the angels in this case were not standing guard of the couple, but were split. some were there to pul her back. they were pulling her into the Chuppah just like her friends were, but it seemed from their faces as though they were pulling her away from the edge, and away form her would have been husband. the other half of the angels were standing under him, reay to catch him when he let go. and there, under him, were his friends waiting for him to fall. i can't tell if they were friends waiting to help him recover and grow in God, or just simply waiting for him to fail. and when he finally falls, she will be able to look down and see him rebuild his life. eventually, he will rebuild it so she does not have to look down, but simply over. but she cannot be the one who goes down to help him recover, because then she will be getting of her stage again. and out form under her Chuppah. out of he Bright shining glory of God.

then i looked back and saw the first couple. and i realy wanted to be that guy.

why is it that all of my deep moments lately have lead to me knowing there is a daughter of Christ out there who needs to be told that she is beautiful and that Christ loves her? and why is it that all of those moments lately lead me to wanting to find her and be the one who tells her that every day for the rest of her life?
yep., i want to love someone. and i am having trouble with that right now. i'm stuck in a fight between wanting to love someone, and knowing i need to rest in the fact that God wants me single right now. and chances are that once i'm finally ready to be single, he'll throw someone at me. so i fight this internal struggle. and thus i'm a lover and a fighter.