i realized tonight that i no longer feel grateful when people tell me i do a good job at something. well, i do, but with certain things i kind of wish they wouldn't say it. when someone at work tells me thank you for running their challenge course, i say " you're welcome it was my pleasure" and i mean it. when i let someone into my lane and they do the weird wave thing one the freeway, i feel kinda good (sometimes) but when people tell me " you sounded really Good on guitar today" i don't feel appreciated. it used to be that i would be so proud wen they said it. or i would be embarrassed and say "yeah i only messed up a few times ( cause i do EVERY service) but lately i have noticed i don't feel fulfilled, i don't feel better for their liking my music. i feel let down alot of the time. i don't play on sundays for their entertainment, but i also don;t do it for them really at all. i get up on stage and worship God. i know God appreciates my music, and i know he is proud of me. that is never affected by their compliments ( or insults for that matter, if i ever received any) i don't want people to hear me playing guitar and be impressed. i don't want people to sit in their seats or stand near them and listen to me play and sing, and then thank me. i want them to stand and sit and kneel and lie on their faces, and just BE in the presence of God. and i want them to thank Him. if after that they come and thank me for that, i'm fine. i have absolutely no problem with them thanking me for my heart. for my willingness to serve, for my gifts being given Back to God. i have no problems with any of that. cause to me i'm doing all of that, not playing guitar. playing guitar is what i do at nine every night ath annoys my family. or on Saturdays when no one is at church and i go and plug in and mess around.
when i play sudnays (or any other time i lead people into worship) i do it for a few reasons. God wants my best, and i feel he has given me a talent, i should give it back. i worship differently with a guitar in my hands than i do just listening. i also do it because i like to lead others into God's presence because i feel He has called me to and i want to help others when i can. i do it because i like to see others worship, and honestly, you have a better view of people from on stage.
after saying all of that, i have no problem when a person comes and says " thank you for worshiping God. i enjoyed watching you." or something like "it made it easier for me" but i want those people who say that to say the same thing to people who are not on stage. to the person sitting two rows behind you who has the horrible voice and you can hear their flat squeals above the music because they are belting it out for God. i'm not saying you should lie, i'm saying you need to learn to appreciate the person's heart too.
my favorie person to watch worship would have to be a guy at school. he's one of the worst singers i know, and he knows it. but he doesn't care. he sings his heart out to jesus. and i love it. when i sit next to him, i thank him for worshiping before i thank anyone on the band.
first come to a point where you can thank the person next to you for worshiping beside you. then come thank me.
I really appreciate you sharing this Andrew. I had this same conversation with my mom the night after I last led worship at my church. It's really refreshing to find people that lead worship for God alone and to lead others to do the same, not as a "gig". I've seen way too much of that, so thanks for sharing this
ReplyDeleteAndrew, thank you for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate it, and I think you've described the correct approach quite well.
Speak on, brother.
mello