old blogs, new viewpoint

i was just reading some old blogs on my myspace page. one of them was bout me dating Cassie and how that all came to happen. and how it was over. another was about how it never actually was over, but that then it really was. and why. between the two blogs i read so many things that i now see in a different light. things i said that were before and after i learned certain things. and even in reading the second of the two, i read things i remember writing. and when i wrote some of them i rememebr thinking " oh how young i was when i wrote the last blog. but now i'm so wise" and today i was thinking " oh how young i was when i wrote that. but now i get it. and tomorrow i will think "oh how young i was when i started my blog on blogger"(three days ago) its interesting to be in the mindset that acknowledges my juvenille side and my mature side and the interaction they have. a mindset that continuously thinks about growth and wanting it. and not just wanting it, but how to turn myself into the kind of person who grows continually. the begining of this semester i resolved to either play disc golf, go slack lining or go rock climbing twice a week. luckily the rock wall is open wtice a week, and the disc golf course continuously calls my name. slack lining is harder, cause the fields are all wet. but by deciding to work on all three of them, i have seen myself become better at all three. i know that if i apply this to my personal life i can see myself get better at growing as a man, and as a man of God.

yesterday i went to all three services of "the Stirring." i played at the morning service, and came home to do homework. i knew i had alot to do, so i decided not to go at night. then i got a text from Vickie saying she needed a ride home after the five o'clock service, so i decided to go, but remembered Jake was borrowing my guitar, so i had to stay for the seven too. i stayed and the whole time i questioned why i was there. at a few points i had my mind made up to ask someone to get my guitar back for me and was getting my jacket on to leave, but i felt God tell me to stay. so i did. at the end of the sermon, which i had already heard twice, Nate told us to pray for eachother. so i looked around for someone to pray for that i knew. i found a friend and started praying silently. there are times for lots of words from us to heaven, and there are times for lots of thoughts to heaven, but usully i find it better to pray that God give me a word or statement of encouragement for that person. God told me to tell him to listen to what Heaven is Doing. coincidentally this guy is not the best listener to people. as i told him " i feel God wants to tel you to listen. to keep your heart and mind open to what God wants you to do. to see Gods will for you in the words of others." i felt almost jealous. not like i was mad at him, but that i was wanting to hear that too.

then i realized, i didn't want to hear that as a revelation, but as a confirmation. i alreadt try to hear that.

so i thought i should step aside from our little four man prayer huddle, make them a trio, and just sing. as i turned my head to check behind me (we were in front of the room and i didn't want to step on anyone kneeling and praying if there was anyone there) i saw Nate Edwardson ( lead pastor) walking up towards me. he said " Can i pray over you?" to which i replied "yes"
he said "i see Joy in you. alot of joy. andrew, i see you as a true worshipper. you are called to worship with your life. to focus on God and on declaring his worth. and you find Joy in that." he said more, but i don't want to share that part. well, my family and some close friends can know, but not the world wide web. if you are a friend and curious, ask, i'll probably tell you.

he also said " wait, are you going home this summer? (i nodded) "well that sucks, but its good too. " which i thought was funny. Nate acknowledges that God wants to use me at home, but still wants me to be in redding. its cool being wanted but sent out.

go with peace to love and serve the Lord.